Installment # 2 of Diary of a madwoman uh, I mean chef, in the throes of opening a restaurant…

And I thought cleaning the grease trap would be the worst of it---no, not so!  Having completed the cleaning, painting and repairing of the dish and rest rooms, my team and I spent last week alternating between painting the front of the house (dining room) and searching the upstate for appropriate equipment and furnishings to bide our time while waiting for contractors (sheet metal, carpentry, and plumbing).  And a successful week it was! 

Our first stop was an abandoned restaurant in a mill town where the only occupants for the last 18 months had been four legged and furry or six legged and nocturnal.  We had not thought to bring a flashlight and without power, we were forced to use the light of our phones to work our way through the once bustling kitchen, now a graveyard of sticky stainless steel and crusty grill work.  The owner, however, was only too willing to let us have our pick of cooking apparatus as long as we removed it without any help from him.  And to our delight, we found two gems, a char-grill and a griddle, both table top versions in recognizable condition, a small prep table and an odd assortment of baking sheets and pans.  What a haul, except for one minor detail, the grease was as thick as that purposefully applied to automotive parts to make them move effortlessly.  For a brief second, I longed to return to the dish room and clean the grease trap for a second time.

My experience has been that Craigslist is the best place to shop for bargains, better than any auctions or used restaurant equipment stores, online or brick and mortar.  But, since I am not the only chef looking for bargains on the site, I also know from experience that, as we used to say when we were kids, you snooze you lose.  So, Saturday morning, when my search for commercial refrigeration (coolers) returned a used two door True stainless steel cooler for an unbelievably low price, off we went.  And since the seller naturally expected this to be a cash transaction, the first stop for me was the local bank. 

Here’s a riddle. What bank in this country does NOT have Saturday hours?  MY BANK! Okay, so the local branch in Central was closed, but surely, the main branch in downtown Clemson would be open.  Nope, the sign posted on the door read Mon to Fri 10 to 5, ATM in lobby open 24 hours.  Yes, of course, the ATM, and I entered the lobby.  Although the seller wanted more than I was allowed by the only bank in America closed on Saturdays, to retrieve from an ATM, I fortunately had two accounts flush with cash at the only bank in America closed on Saturdays.  And between the two of them, I would have the funds needed to buy the damn cooler.  

I withdrew my first card, and completed the transaction, entering all of the information required.  Now, as I waited for what I thought was waaay too long, I could hear the inner workings grinding and squealing as the ATM tried to push the bills out the horizontal door.  I say tried because unbelievably, only the bills that I could see on the top of the pile made it all the way out the little opening.  Those who know me well, know that I have exceptional eye hand coordination, and I am fast, but even with both hands free to grab those bottom bills, that door clamped shut before I had a chance.  Never have I ever experienced such frustration as I did when I read the words that appeared on the screen.  The bills were not removed in the allotted time.  Please see your financial institution for assistance.  What?  Financial institution?  The only one in America that is closed on Saturdays?   My second attempt at the ATM in Central, the one that sits prominently in the square in front of the only bank in America that is closed on Saturdays, was just as unsuccessful.  There the screen read, The allotted daily amount has been met  We are unable to fulfill my request. 

Fortunately due to the intercession of my husband who uses a bank that, unlike mine, IS open on Saturdays we paid the seller and the monster cooler was tied securely into a utility trailer with the help of several of the seller’s neighbors.  Euphoric at the success of our latest acquisition, I called upon our business neighbors to assist in offloading and moving the giant into our establishment.  Here is another first, right up there with the grease trap!  How do you get a refrigerator which measures 33 inches deep by 54 inches wide and 84 inches high and weighs 500 pounds, through a standard size doorway and into a room with 96 inch ceilings?  Well, I am not going to bore you with the details, but after 45 minutes, the cooler was upright, inside and the only wound was in the ceiling which will be scarred for life.   

In addition to a cooler, char-grill and griddle, our only other score for the week was made in a place I should call home---the local Goodwill store.  I think the reason that I am so fond of that store is twofold.  First, I am an antique lover and self recognized authority on certain period pieces and therefore, appreciate all things older than I am.  And second, some of my fondest memories of time spent with my mother were those when we dressed in our Sunday best including hat and gloves and went downtown to the local Salvation Army store.  It was there that I watched in awe as my mother found the diamond in the midst of quartzite and managed to talk the clerk into accepting half the price on the ticket.  The poor salesman never had a chance.  And so in the spirit of my mother, I came to be the owner of a barely used, very expensive DVD/CD/MP3/tuner with 4 speakers and sub woofer, all for half the ticket price of $ 15.00.  I think our on-premise diners will be quite pleased!  

                ‘Til next week, keep an eye out for a natural gas convection oven, sandwich station and steam table, all looking to relocate to BTB in Central, SC.   And a degreaser wouldn’t hurt either!

Eat Smart, America!

Buon Appetito e Buona Salute, Chef AngelaB.